Monthly Archives: January 2012

Taking pictures and posting them on the internet

My phone has a lot of pictures in it. Some of the pictures are doubles and triples of the same images, like a flower with bugs having sex in it or a sandwich board with a pita saying “Get in here for a pita!” I want to make sure I captured the images right, for when I’m older and can’t remember the state I was in when I took the pictures.

But the joke’s on me, because you can’t remember states when you’re in other states. Like just the other night I was trying to remember grade 9 French class. I spent a whole year in that class and all I can remember is that one girl told us she had a brain condition where if she thought too hard her head would explode.

As soon as you do something, you will never again know exactly what it’s like to do that thing. If it was a fun thing you did, your brain will start to puff it up like it was the most amazing thing in the world. It sucks that brains do this to us, but in fairness to brains, they make it so that we don’t have to think in order to breathe. Another guy in grade 9 told me that if he touched my back in a certain way, I would have to think to be able to breathe. You know when someone tells you something, and you believe it and never think about it again, and then remember it years later and realize you believed it that whole time? That just happened to me twice in a row.

Because memories are just dreams about things that actually happened, and because it hurts so much to know we’ll never be able to live them again, the only thing we can really do is take a whole bunch of pictures. At least then we have evidence that they actually happened.

Another reason to take pictures is that fun stuff costs a lot of money. When you spend a lot of money on something, you want to feel like it was at least an investment in your future. Unfortunately, it is impossible for your future to involve that fun thing you did again. So the investment has to be in pictures of you looking like you’re having fun and of stuff you saw while you were having fun.

Once you have those pictures, you should post them up somewhere, because if other people know you were doing that fun thing, it’s more evidence that you actually were. And when you die, you will have left more evidence that you actually existed, since you never will again.



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