Choosing pizza

A few months ago, I was sad about a breakup and I lost some weight. People said, “Boy, you lost weight, eh? You look good.” They meant only the best in saying it, but I still wish they hadn’t, because, obviously, I gained all the weight back once I felt better.

I should say right now that I am not, by any reasonable measure, overweight. But I worry about my weight like everyone else under the sun. I worry about my weight, then I get a slice of pizza on the way home.

Many a time I have wondered whether it’s worth it to cut out the ‘zza and instead fit into all the clothes I want to fit into and hear people say, “Boy, you look good.” It’s a difficult decision to make. Fitting into your clothes is awesome, but ‘zza is the hallmark of life lived to its fullest.

I am gonna have to go with ‘zza. I have lived life as a skinny person and it sucked. I never ate anything and thought about food all the time. I sat out evenings that would have been fun because I didn’t want the calories from booze. Before I got skinny, I ate tons of ‘zza and grew a little paunch because of it. I had the same boyfriend at both times, and he never expressed a preference. He would have been crazy to prefer me skinny, because I was a total bummer the whole time and I never wanted to do it.

The worst thing about being skinny, though, is that being skinny doesn’t stop you from feeling ashamed about your weight. I felt more ashamed about my weight when I was skinny. Shame should at least have a good cause, like the consumption of too much ‘zza.

It’s a bummer to not be able to fit into clothes. But I’m going to keep them just in case something terrible happens in my life and I lose a ton of weight.

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