This week, one of my best friends in the world had a baby. I don’t like babies. I think they look disgusting and I know that they do disgusting things. (No offence if you have a baby.) But I love this baby. I haven’t even met the baby yet and I know that I love it.
I don’t know if I want babies, but I know that I want a dog. I have a lot of dreams where I get a dog, and sometimes in my dreams the dog morphs halfway into a human baby. Maybe when the dog finally becomes the baby I will want a baby.
Until a few years ago, I didn’t really like dogs all that much. I thought they were mean and nasty. Then something happened. I don’t know what. And all of a sudden I was spending hours on YouTube watching videos of huskies saying “I love you.” I had a boyfriend at the time and all of this made him uncomfortable. He started to get edgy whenever the subject of dogs came up.
I am not alone in my dog thing. Lots of my girlfriends have recently started getting into dogs, too. Partly it’s because their parents have recently gotten dogs as replacements for them.
There is enough evidence here to suggest that a dog will eventually morph into a baby, and then back into a dog. This really bothers me. Why do I have to want a baby? Why can’t I just want a dog?