Being hot

I went through this phase about a year ago where I decided I wanted to try being hot. Hot, not just a babe (they are different things). I figured my face had probably gotten better since I started covering it up with glasses and hair, and I wanted the world to see it before it withered up. I think lots of girls go through this.

I got contact lenses and started wearing eye makeup. But I have no idea how to put on eye makeup, so I’d spend hours in the bathroom applying and reapplying liquid liner until I freaked out and smeared it all over my face, then broke down sobbing because God didn’t want me to be hot. Whenever I got it right I would take a million pictures of myself in Photobooth because it blew my mind that I could actually look like a hot girl.

I kept this up for a few months. It became quite stressful. Eventually I started to question the payoff. Foundation doesn’t really cover up oversize pores; it’s like spreading cream cheese on a crumpet. And if you have those weird cheek lines that dig in around your nose, like I do, nothing you can put on your face will fix them. The only thing that fixes them is pulling your face back, and eventually you will need to use your hands for something else.

Finally, whenever I met guys while I was all dolled up, I would question what sort of guys they were. I don’t want to date a guy who dates girls who wear makeup. I’ve thought similarly about getting a Brazilian. I kind of want one, but I don’t want to sleep with the kind of guy who would be into it.

At a certain point I realized that no amount of makeup could make my face look like a different face. Maybe surgery could, but I don’t have the money for that.

Anyway, my face is fine. I’ve had it for 25 years. Sometimes I get tired of looking at it, though.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Being hot

  1. It is a nice face.

  2. 1.) I like your face. 2.) But that cream cheese and crumpet thing made me want to vomit.

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