Monthly Archives: June 2011

Fewer people smoke now than ever, which means way more people bum cigarettes. No one buys packs of their own. They just get a whiff of tobacco and go, “Hey! Smoking! I want to smoke, too!” Most of the time … Continue reading →

Disclaimer: I have chosen to ignore all pun opportunities in this post. Last night I read Paying for It by Chester Brown. It was obviously great, but it made me kind of jealous of Chester Brown, because I could never … Continue reading →

One time I slept with a fella who was a graduate of the Mike Damone School of Male-Female Relations. After he withdrew, he lay there and said to himself, “Oh yeah. She wants to marry me.” He should have acted … Continue reading →

I have always liked the idea of belonging to a clique, but, truth be told, I don’t think it’s the life for me. I can’t really explain why, except to say that any time I have belonged to a clique, … Continue reading →

I met my first boyfriend, “Peter,” shortly after my seventeenth birthday. He was twenty-three. We met through Livejournal with the intention of starting a band, and for the first month we were just friends. People we knew refer to the … Continue reading →

I’m all for people getting their jollies, but there is one thing that bothers me: when people get their jollies in bathroom stalls while I am trying to pee. Here’s something you should know about me: I am pee shy. … Continue reading →

When I was younger I hung out mostly with people older than me. Now the tables have turned, and I hang out mostly with people my own age. I am in the sweet spot where I actually like people my … Continue reading →

When I was nine, my downstairs neighbours had a hamster. Whenever I held him, I would turn him onto his back, because he clearly hated it and he looked so adorable when he squirmed. I have always been very ashamed … Continue reading →

This weekend, some friends and I went to the nude beach at Hanlan’s Point. We sat on the sand and watched the nude people mill about. Close to us was a nude man, telling a nude woman about some clothed … Continue reading →

My ex-boyfriend, “Charlie,” once had a strange roommate. He was a music maker and a drummer of drums at 11 pm. One morning I went outside and found him eating a giant bowl of what appeared to be chickpeas floating … Continue reading →